‘He’s frozen in time for us’; Parents of fallen soldier and McQuaid graduate reflect on his sacrifice

ROCHESTER, N.Y. — People across the Rochester area will gather this Memorial Day to honor those who died while serving their country.

News10NBC’s Garrett Chan recently spoke with the parents of Army Specialist Theodore Matthew Glende, a McQuaid graduate who died while serving in Afghanistan in July of 2012, about his sacrifice. Glende graduated from McQuaid in 2007. After his unit came under attack, he died while helping his fellow soldiers who were wounded.

Glende’s name is among the dozens etched on the pillars at the War on Terror Memorial in Highland Park. His parents, Ava Maria Glende and Ted Glende, say they want people to reflect on the sacrifices of those who chose to serve in the armed forces.

“It’s all these young men and women that make that choice, that conscious choice to be part of the military, whether whatever branch it is,” Ava Maria Glende said. “They know that, on any given day, they may not be coming home. And my heart goes out to all the families who, like us, have lost a loved one.”

The community has honored Glende’s sacrifice with a plaque at the Jefferson Road post office, as well as a bench in his memory on Cobbs Hill and outside the former School Number One on Hillside Drive.

“He lived a short life, but in his short life, he found the job he loved. And he did that for the country he loved. And he protected the people he loved,” Ava Maria Glende said.

Glende’s parents say he wanted to serve since he was little. After graduating from McQuaid, he joined the Army Reserve Officers’ Training Corps at Niagara University before enlisting as an airborne infantry soldier in Italy. Just months after marrying the love of his life, he was deployed overseas.

“And beginning in July and on the 27th, he lost his life trying to help the medic with a soldier that had a leg wound. They were hit by an RPG, which, because of my son’s positioning where he was, saved the other soldiers. But he lost his life in that process,” Ava Maria Glende said.

Glende was later awarded a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star. Almost 14 years later, Ava Maria Glende says the process of grieving doesn’t get any easier, but being surrounded by a network of Gold Star families reassures they’re not alone.

“We all have a similar story. We’ve lost someone we loved, and we’re heartbroken about it. And it’s a grieving process that just never goes away. So we’re kind of there to support each other and understand that we all have someone that understands where we are, and that alone is a great comfort,” Ava Maria Glende said.

The parents have pictures, military pins, and a necklace of their son’s fingerprint to remember him. They say the loss of possibilities is the hardest thing for them to live with.

“I would like to, hopefully, the younger people, people in their 20s and 30s, would take the time, just for a few moments, to realize that all these people, they had lives, too, and they had lives that they’re missing,” Ted Glende said. “He’s frozen in time for us. We look at these pictures, and we see the same young man that we saw 13 years ago, and I think that’s one of the hardest things that you deal with is the little hole in your heart that never gets filled.”

Glende’s parents say they’re also part of the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. Once a month, they meet with other families to talk about what’s going on in their lives and support each other. Glende’s name is one of 34 on the pillars at the memorial.

Last week, McQuaid Jesuit High School broke ground on its new veterans’ memorial. It will pay tribute to nine graduates, including Glende, who were killed in the line of duty. The veteran’s memorial will be dedicated in September.

You can see a list of this year’s Memorial Day parades and ceremonies to honor fallen soldiers here.

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